Recently my best friend said she wanted to be more present and content in her day, and when I asked what that looked like she said, “I think choosing to be thankful and not always wishing I was somewhere else. And choosing to take joy in things and not be ruled by my anxiety.” I could relate very much to being absent from the present. I’ve seen that pattern of dissatisfaction at the root of my own life–with people, activities, sacrifices we make for others. I tend to want to be somewhere else, doing something else. It’s a product of both pride and fear.
The last week has shown me how fruitful choosing to be present and content, joyful and thankful, really is. It’s good to make myself more aware of the value and beauty in my everyday, in the place I’m at right now. It doesn’t always come naturally. To be present in the Lord, and not anxious, changes the way I see my life, and there’s an immense joy and thankfulness that flows from that. My spirit renewed. Remembering this is especially helpful when I’m stuck comparing myself to others, wishing things were different. Or when my anxiety and fear in social situations prevents me from enjoying and opening myself up to others. I’m glad to have a friend who encourages me to look heavenward along with her.
Sunday was a glorious day, one of rushing about but also much needed relaxation. David and I had a nice, quiet breakfast and coffee together before church, a service which moved us to tears even later as we reflected on it. We worked together preparing for an event at the store and it was a great success. I went for an energizing run, something I feel more and more is a part of who I am and not just something I do. And in the evening we ate Chinese food and put up our tree. My heart felt so full. What a wonderful end (beginning?) to the week.